Those people who know me best, know that I am notorious for sending men I date back to their exes. I don’t know why or how but I have an uncanny ability to send them running back home. The first time it happened I’m not even sure he ever left her. Well, he claimed a broken off engagement. But…as he lived out-of-town, she could be conveniently hidden. After the first “flush of romance” began to wane, my facilities became sharper, all of his stories, excuses and duplicity became more focused. He started out calling me, texting me and e-mailing me all the time. All of a sudden, he only calls me from work or when he’s out but seems to disappear when he is at home?! My first visit to his state and I stay in a hotel?! Ok…you get the picture. Number 2 was a great guy. We were wonderful friends, enjoyed so much about each other. I could truly envision the possibility of a future with this man and know that he had good feelings about me. He was a good man. Unfortunately, shortly into our relationship, he found out he was sick, very sick. His ex-wife also found out and reached out to him. He was looking at years of meds and therapies and possibly experimental programs. Would I have helped him through it? Absolutely. But his wife of 25 years and mother of his children seemed to me to be the person he would feel most comfortable with during his struggle. I encouraged him (I know, right?!) to at least let her help out. It was an emotional parting, even after only about 4 months. We stayed in touch but one of her stipulations was that we break off contact completely (fair) The last I heard he was doing well health wise and I have no idea about his love life. One thing I’ve learned….you can’t always go back. Another story for another blog! Let’s see? Who was number 3? Wow, I just totally drew a blank! I’ll probably remember in the middle of the night and have to….ahh…I remember now. This one was a cutie…more friend than anything else but we talked everyday, hung out with each other’s family and had a great time. I noticed that his relationship status said “It’s complicated” and he had on a wedding ring in one of his profile pics! He claimed that both were to deter unwanted females. Ok, he was pretty handsome, so….maybe?! He had moved into town from 2 hours away. Every now and then, he would go back to visit. Crazy thing but his phone never worked when he went. He would call me on his way out-of-town and call me a week later on his way back. No cell service?! I told him I needed a break from being with him but didn’t say why. He tried for over a couple of months to get us back together but I didn’t have the energy to even tell him why. Truly, I didn’t see a future anyway. Not even several days after that last call, I saw his status changed to “In a relationship” with his ex. So by now you are seeing the trend. I bet by now, you’re probably thinking many things about me, most I’ve probably thought about myself and the rest, I probably don’t want to know. Oh, the humiliation! So around that time #4 shows up. Great guy! I really like him and he’s very good to me. He mentioned right at the beginning that he had dated a woman that he had a hard time getting over. He brought her up once again and I asked him if he wanted to get back with her. Absolutely not. Fast forward 2 more months, things are on and off with us and I see a public engagement announcement. Really?! So, me and my “rose colored glasses”, “glass is half full….”, eternal optimist attitude, decide that I am not going to date right now. I obviously have no idea what I’m doing. I am take myself off the dating sites and look for groups of people with common interests. I am going to find people who are doing things that I like to do. If all goes well, I will meet new people to socialize and do things with. If I am very lucky, I’ll make some great friends. In the meantime, enters #5. Now, I am not so stupid, this time. We take it slow. Just get to know each other as friends. Only one date, no kiss. I’m being careful, very careful. We finally decide to go out on a real date, see where it leads and he calls me, I kid you not and says he got together with his ex wife the previous night and they are going to try to reconcile! Seriously!? He then added insult to injury by suggesting I call my ex of 6 years!
Well where am I going by all this other than to illustrate how very, very misguided I am! I’m thinking of hanging out a shingle. Want to reconcile with your ex, call me! Better yet, I can have them take me out to great and public places so I can at least get a little something for my efforts. Or maybe I should call all these women and collect my due!!!